Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Guru + Obamarama + Disco Express 666 + other weekend shiznet

Unlike a lot of people I know, I can admit when I’m wrong. And this Saturday, Orlando will prove me wrong. There is absolutely nothing going on. Okay, that’s not entirely true but it’s pretty fucking close. Yes, the almighty Dew Tour is happening and, yes, there’s an official afterparty at Firestone with Hawthorne Heights and These Green Eyes. Not my scene. Other people are probably excited about Dolly Parton at the UCF Arena. No one I know, of course, but I’m sure there has to be somebody who can’t wait to fork over $95 to see her boobs in person. Maybe the Dublife party at Crooked Bayou will be awesome, but with LTJ Bukem earlier this week, I’ve already had my fill. Here’s the flyer regardless:



Tonight, on the other hand, is completely going off. It sill fascinates me that these events can’t be spread around a bit more. We’ve got GURU at Firestone (!!!!!!!!!!!!):



Get Mental at Sky60 (Password: Dew Something):



A party promising disco at Peacock Room (I’ll believe it when I hear it):



An Obamarama Concert for Change at the The Plaza Theatre:



And finally, Taste’s 5th Year Anniversary Party (No flyer or additional info).

If you can’t find anything Saturday, just rest up for Blow Sundays at Tanquerays:

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

After listening to Guru on youtube I decided I'd rather stab myself in the ear with a fork. My other things to do Saturday is go to Crooked Bayou and listen to DJunya. after researching this artist (and I use that term loosely) on youtube I think it would be better to tell people about this event on the PutMeToSleepOrlando site. Mind numbing boredom has a new name - DJunya. Or I can go to Sky60 and listen to "unch unch unch beep beep beep" while the DJ yells "How many people here like House music!?!?" to the delite of the 4 people who are dancing while everyone else who I have no desire to talk to stand around tring to be hip with their overprised drinks. Newsflash - Nobody likes House music! It sucks, period. Dolly Parton is playing for $95 bucks? No Thanks.. besides Tracy Byrd is playing next week. or I can go to TASTE in college park and be hip. Anyone who's been to TASTE and thought it was a cool place and went back... please do Orlando a favor and kill yourself.

What REALLY do to Saturday - Be Amazing and Get Mental (please stop using my gimmic) with me Mental Rob with the most awesome karaoke rock n roll hair metal boot scootin boogie hip hop dance party ever at Mugshots Sports Bar in Altamount Springs. Karaoke, Beer Specials, Wings, Nachos, Girls, Drunkin fun at it's best. They have a freakin stand up Donkey Kong machine there! Epic Win! Several other dive bars are within walking distance, with no cheesey downtown douchbags. It's a short 10 minutes east I4 from downtown, so stop bitching. Come out and be awesome with me!