Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!
Showing posts with label trainwrecks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trainwrecks. Show all posts

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Feinberg-less Firestone

I feel the need to post about something that's driving me insane lately: something I like to call the "Feinberg-less Firestone." Let's take a look at the talent Mike Feinberg has helped bestow upon Orlando's club scene in the past few years:

Justice
DJ Mehdi
MSTRKRFT
Chromeo
Girl Talk
Tommie Sunshine
Diplo
Digitalism
Bonde do Role
Tittsworth
Surkin
Para One
Curses (aka Drop the Lime)
Peaches
CSS
Steve Aoki
Them Jeans
Toxic Avenger
Flosstradamus
Kid Sister
Princess Superstar
Guns 'N Bombs
Kissy Sell Out
The Rub
Orgasmic
Villains



And now that Feinberg is gone, here is the upcoming lineup:

DJ Mea
BT
DnF
Uberzone vs. Bassbin Twins
Friction and Spice
DJ Icey

Seriously?!?!? I feel like I should grab a pair of glowsticks, throw on some Jncos and set my Delorean for the year 1998. Haven't Orlando breaks died a horrible death by now??? Things are not looking good.

Be prepared for all flyers to start looking like this:

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Kids in the Hall + Yo Majesty + She Wants Revenge



The original gay-not-gay boys, Kids in the Hall, are bringing their "we-really-need-to-pay-our-bills-so-we-reunited" tour to Hard Rock Live this evening and I can't figure out why I'm not going!!! I was obsessed with KITH all throughout high school, thanks to the Comedy Central reruns. I had a whole collection of VHS tapes filled with Kids and The State (hopefully I won't get sued for admitting that here) that my friends and I would watch and quote endlessly. I would love to see their live comedy on the stage: Sir Simon Milligan & Hecubus, the Chicken Lady, Rod Torfulson's Armada featuring Herman Menderchuk, I'm Crushing Your Head, a gay Buddy Cole monologue... damn, why am I not going??? Oh yeah, because THE WORST MUSIC PARTY® is tomorrow and I have a bajillion and one things to do.

Anyways, here is my absolute favorite KITH sketch with Kevin and Dave about the guy who is never wrong about anything, especially the movie Citizen Kane.

If you like all that crunk-punk-rap B-more music, then head on over to BackBooth to see Yo Majesty. Hey, if nothing else, at least you'll see boobs:


LOL! View original photo at: Kevin Collier's website

Maybe not the boobs you wanted to see, but, hey, they'll be there. Also playing are Rosetta Stoned, Mostbangin'est, Justin Scott, Miss Fit and a super secret special guest. Oooh, mysterious!



I'm not a big fan but since some people are, I will mention that She Wants Revenge is performing at the House of Blues this evening. After the show, Adam 12 (the guy without the hair in the above photo) will speed over to Firestone for a DJ set.

But tomorrow is the real meat and potatoes because it's finally time for the Worst Music Party® Volume 12!!!!!!!!



Don't even think about doing anything else!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Scarlett Johansson does Tom Waits???!!!???!!!

Dear God, please say it ain't so.



I guess if you're hot, you can do whatever you want.

We can only hope Jessica Alba does a Bob Dylan tribute album next!!!