Magic Playoffs + Extended Drinking Hours = Extreme Work Hangovers

You may or may not have heard by now that you can get your drink on until 3 AM tonight and Thursday due to the Magic playoffs. This is a bittersweet victory for a few reasons: 1) Umm… don’t most people have to be at work early on Wednesday and Friday? and 2) Really, City of Orlando? All it took to extend drinking hours was the economy tanking and the Magic finally making the playoffs? If we ever hope to get back to the days of clubs actually staying open late, maybe we’ll just have to conjure some unicorns or teach pigs to fly. If the Magic can make the playoffs, anything is possible, right? Oh yeah, and fuck you for that parking ticket the other night. I was one minute late and on my way to refill your stupid meter!!!!

Wait, what was I saying? Oh, right… more time to drink tonight! If you want to get all up in the downtown chaos, Crooked Bayou is a great spot to watch the game. Not only do they have awesome food (try the Danimal with honey mustard and a side of tater tots), but they’ve also been featuring Magic-al drink specials throughout the playoffs.


Redlight Redlight will also be showing the game this evening, along with hosting a special beer-tasting event. The Left Hand Brewing Company will be serving up beer flights to try their southpaw-style beer and the first 48 people get to keep their pint glass.

(Note… Not sure if Redlight Redlight gets that extra-hour extension. According to the official press release of the City of Orlando, “alcohol can be sold until 3:00 a.m. (instead of 2:00 a.m.) and that closing of properly licensed establishments (within the City’s corporate limits) will be 4:00 a.m.” This fun little parentheses may very well screw over places like Redlight Redlight, Will's Pub and Peacock Room.)

And the award for most creative way to rip off the Magic’s logo goes to Covert Skate Shop!

Even though I'm the opposite of a sports fan, I can't help but be stoked for my li'l ol' town of Orlando getting national recognition. Hopefully they won't get their asses handed to them again! Happy hangovers to all planning to celebrate (or drown sorrows) tonight and Thursday!

Memorial Day Weekend Events You Won’t Do Because It’s Raining

Yep – day 5+ of non-stop rain. Should make for nice soggy BBQs this weekend. (Soggy BBQ sounds like a band name, doesn’t it?) In addition to the lame “hip hop artist” with the same name as our state performing at whack attack Tabu tonight (she hit the flo’, next thing you kno’, low, low, low, barf, barf, barf), there is plenty going down in our swampy city this holiday weekend.

Music Never Forgets tonight at Sky60 (weather permitting, of course) with MOT, Spear and Huggy.



I’m guessing this one may be canceled. If so, check out Nigel and Gomez at Crooked Bayou instead.

Tomorrow during the day, there’s a special event that has somehow managed to pair beer tasting with couch racing. Not really sure what that’s all about but it sounds interesting.



If skateboards and artwork are your thing, check out Pushin’ VIII at Bold Hype tomorrow night. Over 30 local artists have decorated – you guessed it – skateboard decks for the show which will all be on display. Afterparty immediately following at Stardust with Mot and Johnny Five Mikes.



Another art party, False Alarm, will be taking place down at the warehouse space on west Central Ave featuring DJs Cub and Mo.



Haven’t really seen anything for Sunday yet except for a drunken crawfish boil which is sure to be full of drunken frat boys. I’m sure you can find a soggy BBQ here or there. Have a nice holiday!

Jellyfish and Other Weekend Events

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, my apologies for less-than-frequent updates as of late. My home computer has finally died a nasty death, leaving only my work computer to access the internet. And in today’s hard economic times, my jobby job is very important to me. Ok, enough woe-is-me talk – let’s get some weekend action up in this piece.

First off, we have an art installment from Doug Rhodehamel. Remember when he was collecting all those plastic bottles a few months back? Turns out he wasn’t cashing them in to pay he rent, he was creating sea creatures. Night of a Thousand Jellyfish takes place at the City Arts Factory from 7 to 11 PM with music by DJ Nigel. It’s 2 bucks or you can opt to bring a cheap bottle of wine. I know which one I’m choosing!



And over at the place you never thought would open, Will's Pub, catch The Empyres – a band consisting of ex-members of The Hatebombs, Fantasie and View-finder. Or Dave Ewing, Jeff Orlando and Aaron Zacktan if you need names to go with the faces. Special guests: The Bell Towers. $5, 10 PM.



Continuing down the 17-92 pub crawl, we have The Future on Films in Space playing at the Peacock Room. $5, 10 PM.



Househeads should stop in at Crooked Bayou this evening, where DJ Chang (best known as resident DJ at the ecstasy-filled nights of club Simon’s in Gainseville) will be the special guest. No cover, 10 PM.



Kick your Saturday off with a group art show dedicated to life in Central Florida. Altered State features work by Johannah O’Donnell, Joseph Williams, Linda Hartmann, Morgan Steele, Pam Treadwell, Patricia Coyle, Peg Martin and Tom Hope. Each artist will be showing their perspective of life in our fair city – it should be interesting to see the outcome. It’s being held at my favorite bight-orange building, Say It Loud. $5, 7 PM, soundscape by Adriaan Mol.



Also on Saturday, The Spam Allstars will be heating up The Social. The 9-pice band blends “electronic elements and turntables with Latin rhythms, funk, hip-hop and dub to create an eclectic, original sound.” Special guest: The Gerry Williams Band. $10 in advance, $12 day of show.



And finally, the last Saturday of each month marks the Dublife party at Crooked Bayou. Hosted by Jungala, No cover, $10 PM.



Have fun :)

Have a Non-Sucky Valentine's Day

Where will you be this Valentine’s Day? Will you be fighting with your significant other because he/she has a different view of the day than you? Will you be drinking heavily to numb the lonely self-loathing that can only be induced by holidays invented by evil greeting card companies? Either way, you should be at Crooked Bayou this Saturday night for the Kiss ‘N Makeup party. Spear, MOT and I will even be decked out in Kiss makeup for the occasion. How often do you get to see DJs in Kiss makeup? Not often enough.



Word to your mother.

Fucking Finally - A Weekend Post!!!

To quote the great Sir Boy George, "I know you missed me, I know you missed me, toniiiiight!*" and "Time won't give me time." After over a month in limbo, for which I have no excuse except extreme busy-ness, I'm back to give you the skinny on this MLK JR. weekend.

(*I just found out the words to this song are "I know you'll miss me, blind" so I have been singing it wrong forever. Oh well, it's already too deep-rooted in the brain to change it now).

First up tonight, bundle your happy ass up and hit Sky60 tonight for the Obey Party, presented by Covert Shop. They promise free gear and stickers, 2 for 1 drinks until midnight, and dope music from MOT, LT Smash and Johnny 5 Mikes. Password for free admission is "OBEY THIS".



If braving the cold ain't your thing (pussy!) then hit up the Bangers and Hangers On party over at Crooked Bayou.



And, finally, the main event, the highlight of the weekend - month - year - decade, etc.: The Stevie Wonder party at the Peacock Room. Yes, I may be a tad biased because myself and Andrew Spear and throwing it, but still - it's an event not to be missed!!! Rumor has it that Stevie himself will even make an appearance.



So there you have it. If I hear of anything on Sunday, I'll update this post. Enjoy your long weekend, if you have one. We finally get Obama on Tuesday, and that's reason enough to celebrate. Hope to see you out, kids!

Free Mustache Rides and Other Weekend Events

Kids, I am letting you down this week. I blame it on massive lay-offs that have been happening in my office (they always go down on Friday), which also means I blame it on all George W. Fucking Bush. Anyways, I'm a tad distraught today since things are not well and I can't really write anything fun. Le sigh.

Also, it's Florida Classic weekend so my suggestion would be to avoid downtown all together.

Either way, here are some flyers. I promise more engaging posts in the future.

Free Mustache Rides @ Crooked Bayou:


Also, Hush @ The Warehouse Space, 630 W. Central Ave


Saturday - Devin the fucking Dude!!!! at BackBooth:


Also Saturday @ Redlight Redlight:


Good luck. I'll be drowning my sorrows in vodka and old movies with Marilyn Monroe while praying I get to keep my job. See you next week for all the Thanksgiving going-ons. (I'll be in a better mood, I swear).

I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts!

Halloween is a messy holiday. There's just something about mixing costumes with alcohol that leads to a super distorted sense of reality. And Halloween weekend in Orlando always means one thing -- a bunch of unprofessional drinkers (dressed as Pimps and Hos) descend upon downtown, drink themselves into oblivion and turn into complete and total douchebags. While you're bound to encounter a handful of these amateurs, you can steer clear of them by avoiding Church Street/Wall Street, and by attending any of the recommended events below:

If you're looking to engulf yourself in the chaotic mess of the annual downtown block party -- it's fun if you don't drive -- you're best bet (read: FREE) is to hit up the Halloween edition of Get Mental at Sky60. As homage to the upcoming election to rid the White House of Satan himself, the password for the evening is "Scarier Than Politicians." $5 without password.



In their annual Halloween tradition, Crooked Bayou will be hosting everyone's favorite Misfits cover band, Psycho 78. Jerry Baloney seems to like them, anyway. $5 cover.



The older and slightly eccentric crew will be over at the City Arts Factory for the Shine Psycho Circus Halloween Masquerade. Tons of stuff going on there -- check the over-saturated flyer (if you can read it) for details. $20 cover.



If the downtown mayhem ain't your scene, then make your way down Mills to Peacock Room for their annual Halloween party. I've seen people pull out all the stops to win the costume contest so it should be pretty interesting. $7 cover.



Ride your bike to Stardust Video and Bold Hype for their joint parking lot OMG WTF Halloween party. No cover.



More non-downtown action can be found at Taste in College Park, who is hosting A Funky Boogie-ween with the Windham Group and The Good Rub. $8 cover.



And finally, if you just want to get the fuck out of Orlando altogether, head over to party in Ybor with the Pulp kids for Lol-O-ween. Special guest (and my hero) DJ Mega. No cover with costume, $5 cover without.



Be safe, kids. If you do go out, I'll bet a million dollars you hear at least one of the following: Thriller, Ghostbusters or Highway to Hell. Bonus points if you hear all three!

Flyer-Only Friday

My apologies for the boring-ness that is to follow. Waaaaaay too busy.

Friday Night:

Get Mental will be back next week. In its place @ Sky60:


At Peacock Room:


At Crooked Bayou:


Saturday Night:

The return of Turbo Love Machine at Peacock!!!


Roger Sanchez at Firestone:

Guru + Obamarama + Disco Express 666 + other weekend shiznet

Unlike a lot of people I know, I can admit when I’m wrong. And this Saturday, Orlando will prove me wrong. There is absolutely nothing going on. Okay, that’s not entirely true but it’s pretty fucking close. Yes, the almighty Dew Tour is happening and, yes, there’s an official afterparty at Firestone with Hawthorne Heights and These Green Eyes. Not my scene. Other people are probably excited about Dolly Parton at the UCF Arena. No one I know, of course, but I’m sure there has to be somebody who can’t wait to fork over $95 to see her boobs in person. Maybe the Dublife party at Crooked Bayou will be awesome, but with LTJ Bukem earlier this week, I’ve already had my fill. Here’s the flyer regardless:



Tonight, on the other hand, is completely going off. It sill fascinates me that these events can’t be spread around a bit more. We’ve got GURU at Firestone (!!!!!!!!!!!!):



Get Mental at Sky60 (Password: Dew Something):



A party promising disco at Peacock Room (I’ll believe it when I hear it):



An Obamarama Concert for Change at the The Plaza Theatre:



And finally, Taste’s 5th Year Anniversary Party (No flyer or additional info).

If you can’t find anything Saturday, just rest up for Blow Sundays at Tanquerays:

LTJ Bukem

Rude bwoys. Torque presents LTJ + MC Conrad tonight at Crooked Bayou. $15 before 11, $20 after.

Brett Johnson + Atmosphere + Legendary J.C.'s + Hoochie Productions + The Walkmen

Our first October weekend is upon us and thank god!!! I don't think I could take another day of the blistering Florida heat (although it will totally creep back in... we're not in the clear until November). Since the weather is so gorgeous, it would be a perfect night to go to Sky60 right??? Nope. Tonight they're closed for a private party, so the guys of Get Mental have the night off.



Other options? Well, First Friday equals Club Queso. This month, the crazy Mexican wrestlers are featuring Brett Johnson, the Dallas-ite who's produced tracks for OM, Classic, Brique Rouge and 20:20 Vision (to name a few). He’ll be gracing the stage at The Peacock Room tonight along with Atnarko and Sleazy McQueen. $5 cover, Free CD to the first 50 people.



Tomorrow is a very special day indeed. October 4th is our very own Melanie (Monster)'s birthday!!! I would tell you to find her downtown and buy her fine ass a shot, but she’ll be in Miami so you'll have to take a rain check.



Saturday night there is a super dope hip hop show over at Firestone. It's about time they redeemed themselves - they have been sucking so bad lately. Anyway, don't miss headliner Atmosphere on his Paint The Nation tour, along with Abstract Rude, Blueprint and DJ Rare Groove.



Also on Saturday night at BackBooth, catch the Legendary J.C.'s dropping their unique blend of funk, soul and insanity. The band has been through some musician changes recently, so it will be interesting to see if they’ve still got their umpf.



Also tomorrow, Hoochie Productions is hosting a party at Crooked Bayou. Click the flyer for more details.



On Sunday, everyone's favorite indie band, The Walkmen, return to The Social.



Happy October!