I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts!

Halloween is a messy holiday. There's just something about mixing costumes with alcohol that leads to a super distorted sense of reality. And Halloween weekend in Orlando always means one thing -- a bunch of unprofessional drinkers (dressed as Pimps and Hos) descend upon downtown, drink themselves into oblivion and turn into complete and total douchebags. While you're bound to encounter a handful of these amateurs, you can steer clear of them by avoiding Church Street/Wall Street, and by attending any of the recommended events below:

If you're looking to engulf yourself in the chaotic mess of the annual downtown block party -- it's fun if you don't drive -- you're best bet (read: FREE) is to hit up the Halloween edition of Get Mental at Sky60. As homage to the upcoming election to rid the White House of Satan himself, the password for the evening is "Scarier Than Politicians." $5 without password.



In their annual Halloween tradition, Crooked Bayou will be hosting everyone's favorite Misfits cover band, Psycho 78. Jerry Baloney seems to like them, anyway. $5 cover.



The older and slightly eccentric crew will be over at the City Arts Factory for the Shine Psycho Circus Halloween Masquerade. Tons of stuff going on there -- check the over-saturated flyer (if you can read it) for details. $20 cover.



If the downtown mayhem ain't your scene, then make your way down Mills to Peacock Room for their annual Halloween party. I've seen people pull out all the stops to win the costume contest so it should be pretty interesting. $7 cover.



Ride your bike to Stardust Video and Bold Hype for their joint parking lot OMG WTF Halloween party. No cover.



More non-downtown action can be found at Taste in College Park, who is hosting A Funky Boogie-ween with the Windham Group and The Good Rub. $8 cover.



And finally, if you just want to get the fuck out of Orlando altogether, head over to party in Ybor with the Pulp kids for Lol-O-ween. Special guest (and my hero) DJ Mega. No cover with costume, $5 cover without.



Be safe, kids. If you do go out, I'll bet a million dollars you hear at least one of the following: Thriller, Ghostbusters or Highway to Hell. Bonus points if you hear all three!