Don't Sleep Orlando: The Feinberg-less Firestone

Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Feinberg-less Firestone

I feel the need to post about something that's driving me insane lately: something I like to call the "Feinberg-less Firestone." Let's take a look at the talent Mike Feinberg has helped bestow upon Orlando's club scene in the past few years:

Justice
DJ Mehdi
MSTRKRFT
Chromeo
Girl Talk
Tommie Sunshine
Diplo
Digitalism
Bonde do Role
Tittsworth
Surkin
Para One
Curses (aka Drop the Lime)
Peaches
CSS
Steve Aoki
Them Jeans
Toxic Avenger
Flosstradamus
Kid Sister
Princess Superstar
Guns 'N Bombs
Kissy Sell Out
The Rub
Orgasmic
Villains

And now that Feinberg is gone, here is the upcoming lineup:

DJ Mea
BT
DnF
Uberzone vs. Bassbin Twins
Friction and Spice
DJ Icey

Seriously?!?!? I feel like I should grab a pair of glowsticks, throw on some Jncos and set my Delorean for the year 1998. Haven't Orlando breaks died a horrible death by now??? Things are not looking good.

Be prepared for all flyers to start looking like this:

3 comments:

kcoll said...: A-Men!

Good news is that you can get glowsticks for pretty cheap at the party store!; July 17, 2008 at 6:56 PM
eade said...: wow.. thats sad.. and i hadn't noticed.. being consumed by work and other things.. what a crappy trend. poo.; July 17, 2008 at 6:58 PM
kcoll said...: I just realized (almost a month later) that it sounded like I was for the "new" glowstickee firestone. It was sarcasm, haha. It's poopie.

YAY get mental!; August 5, 2008 at 9:29 PM