Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Friday, June 19, 2009

What To Do This Weekend?

Tonight you should go to this at Peacock:

And tomorrow you should join me at Semoran Skateway for my awesomely retro-fied roller disco birthday party!!!

Tube socks will be in effect. Sweet.


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Magic Playoffs + Extended Drinking Hours = Extreme Work Hangovers

You may or may not have heard by now that you can get your drink on until 3 AM tonight and Thursday due to the Magic playoffs. This is a bittersweet victory for a few reasons: 1) Umm… don’t most people have to be at work early on Wednesday and Friday? and 2) Really, City of Orlando? All it took to extend drinking hours was the economy tanking and the Magic finally making the playoffs? If we ever hope to get back to the days of clubs actually staying open late, maybe we’ll just have to conjure some unicorns or teach pigs to fly. If the Magic can make the playoffs, anything is possible, right? Oh yeah, and fuck you for that parking ticket the other night. I was one minute late and on my way to refill your stupid meter!!!!

Wait, what was I saying? Oh, right… more time to drink tonight! If you want to get all up in the downtown chaos, Crooked Bayou is a great spot to watch the game. Not only do they have awesome food (try the Danimal with honey mustard and a side of tater tots), but they’ve also been featuring Magic-al drink specials throughout the playoffs.

Redlight Redlight will also be showing the game this evening, along with hosting a special beer-tasting event. The Left Hand Brewing Company will be serving up beer flights to try their southpaw-style beer and the first 48 people get to keep their pint glass.

(Note… Not sure if Redlight Redlight gets that extra-hour extension. According to the official press release of the City of Orlando, “alcohol can be sold until 3:00 a.m. (instead of 2:00 a.m.) and that closing of properly licensed establishments (within the City’s corporate limits) will be 4:00 a.m.” This fun little parentheses may very well screw over places like Redlight Redlight, Will's Pub and Peacock Room.)

And the award for most creative way to rip off the Magic’s logo goes to Covert Skate Shop!

Even though I'm the opposite of a sports fan, I can't help but be stoked for my li'l ol' town of Orlando getting national recognition. Hopefully they won't get their asses handed to them again! Happy hangovers to all planning to celebrate (or drown sorrows) tonight and Thursday!


Friday, June 5, 2009

The Haps This Weekend

Here’s some stuff you just shouldn’t miss:

Tonight at Will's Pub: La Garage a Go-Go! with Los Knievels, The Empyres, The Mondellos

Over at Peacock: Latenight Society presents Disco Disco with Just Jason, Romano Arcaini, Gino Sutera and Nigel

Saturday at Orlando Brewing: The Grafitti Bus Tour featuring artists, DJs, BBQ and beer.

Saturday night at Hard Rock Live: comedian Jim Gaffigan

Have a good one :)