Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Let It Be (Sharps)


If my Hot Pink Dolorean could travel through time, I would visit London on January 30, 1969 and camp out in front of headquarters for the Apple record label. I would stare at the roof and wait with growing anticipation, while everyone looked at me like I was insane. (Plus, I'd be wearing either a puffy vest that someone would mistake as a life jacket or a bright yellow radiation suit to make me look like an alien. Those crazy future fashions!!! Wait, I'm losing my train of thought). But I wouldn't be a nutjob, oh no. I would just be waiting for what would be the final live performance of the Fab Four. Maybe I'd even bring some new school amplifiers or high-quality digital recording devices to enhance the moment.

But until the flux capacitor is invented (let's get on that, people) this is only a pipe dream. The best we can do is gather at the Drunken Monkey tonight to view the Rooftop Concert as part of their August Beatlemania Movie Nights (I just made that up, by the way. It's not called that at all).

And reason number 8,566,981 why The Simpsons is the greatest show of all time: The Be Sharps final rooftop performance.

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