Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Friday, October 10, 2008

This Weekend: MOT's bday + Sparatik + Shiny Toy Guns + Yelle + Peter Baldwin

It's finally Friday, October 10th and that can only mean one thing: it's MOT's fucking birthday. So get your ass on down to Sky60 tonight and watch him get obliterated on Jagermeister (more so than usual, that is). Since he's officially over the hill, the password for free admission is 40 is the new FUCK YOU. PS... there are rumors that Fuel TV will be filming at Sky tonight as part of their coverage on the upcoming Dew Tour. So, in the words of Andrew Spear, "look nice and slutty."



They have a special guest tonight over at The Peacock Room, a dope ass girl DJ named Sparatik. She was the headliner at one of the first parties I ever threw (in 2003 at AKA Lounge) and she completely killed it. She now resides in L.A. but will visiting us tonight for a special performance.



And now the "Another Reason People Think Orlando Sucks" report: Apparently there is a new bar opening this evening on I-Drive increasing Orlando's lameness factor. Straight from their website:

ICEBAR Orlando, on International Drive just minutes away from the Orange County Convention Center, is the first and largest permanent ice bar in the country. Open year-round, the $35 cover charge includes a 45-minute expedition into the 27-degree den of solid, sparkling, floor-to-ceiling ice. Slip on a thermal cape and gloves and sip a premium vodka cocktail (or non-alcoholic drink for guests under 21) served in a glass carved from pure ice. Reserve your block now and be the first to Experience the Chill.


Where do I begin??? For a mere THIRTY FIVE bones, you too can wear an unflattering giganti-coat that covers your cute outfit, freeze your ass off, hang out with tourists and minors, and pay too much for drinks served in cups that will stick to your hand. Sounds grrrrrreeeeeaaatttttt.



Saturday night is hipster heaven with the ultimate showdown of semi-talented national acts that are too cool for school. You'll have your choice of Shiny Toy Guns performing at BackBooth or the Uffie doppelganger Yelle over at The Social. Hipsters who are feeling overzealous can even try to hit both shows, since it sounds like STG will be performing early. Older hipsters can just hit up Bar BQ Bar, as with any other Saturday night.



If you're really into Shiny Toy Guns and don't mind dealing with the lame ass crowd at Vixen (WARNING: Clicking the Vixen link will lead to REALLY LOUD house music!!!! I mean SUPER loud. Like, "I could get fired" loud. You have been warned!!!), you can catch Jeremy Dawson's DJ set at the official after party, hosted by Go Clubnights.



If the jazzy live musician thing sounds like it's more your scene, check out Peter Baldwin over at Peacock.



So what have we learned? 40 is the new fuck you, Icebar is super lame and don't click the Vixen link at work. Have a super awesome weekend!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

How could you even compare Uffie to Yelle. Uffie is a hack. Yelle is a pop superstar in France with a half dozen singles off of a single album alone and remixes to go on for miles. Uffie is a skank that lived in miami for a few weeks. Good grief. Give Yelle some credit. Every track on her album is listenable if not down right awesome. Uffie doesn't even have a reasonable release yet.

OMG, It's Becky! said...

The comparison makes sense to me -- they're both fashionista kinda-singers in the electronic music scene. Uffie's lyrics suck and she's huge in France where they can't understand her. Yelle's lyrics (most likely) suck and she's big in the US where we can't understand her. And they're both way less annoying when remixed.

But I definitely agree that Uffie is a hack and a skank.

defameorlando said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
defameorlando said...

I hate that I can't delete my comment without being called out for it...

You jerks (ahem, ladies) took my Icebar post!

What is this "Another Reason People Think Orlando Sucks" report shit. Stick to LOVING and SUPPORTING Orlando as you usually do. I already have enough copycat hater posts over at the OCC page.

OMG, It's Becky! said...

It was just way too good to pass up. You have to do a post on Icebar anyway!!! Yours will be amazing!!!

Anonymous said...

Who the fuck is MOT?

Anonymous said...

Becky, is that you?? It's Sparatik! I stumbled upon your blog and found a post for a party I did there last year. What's up girl?