Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Monday, November 3, 2008

This week....Get Ready

We begin to prepare ourselves for the upcoming week. Since i know that most of you don't know the first thing about time management, I decided to give you an early heads up of this week's amazing events.

First of all, here is your list of things to remember:
  • Many people love to conserve gas, so call out of work a few days this week so you can get yourself around to all the cool shit going on.
  • get plenty of sleep, take naps frequently throughout the day, sneak a snore in your office bathroom, learn to sleep with your eyes open
  • start a multi-vitamin regimen. Believe me, you'll need it.
This week, ladies and gentlemen, get ready.

Tonight, Monday November 3:

Pauly Crush has a big heart, really he does. He acts all tough and cool and whatnot, but hes really just a nice guy. And he's proving it tonight, cuz All profits go to the Orlando's Creative School for Children. This is a great time for you to get sloshed for a good cause, so prepare yourself for an other wise frugal and take a few extra dollars with you for the benefit of some kids, yeah?

Get in FREE before 11 by signing up on the CRUSH Guest List before 8pm every Monday. Free Beer and cheap shot specials all night!

Wednesday, November 5thTotally Michael and MC Chris tear it up at The Social, along with Whole Wheat Bread. Doors at 8:00PM, $12.00, All Ages. If youre like me and can't really stand MC Chris, shut up, buy some earplugs and drink heavily. Totally Michael is totally Worth it.

Tickets available at the Social Box Office, the door, and Ticketmaster locations.

I should have an interview with him, so check back for more info on that. Attend the show, rock out, go home and get some sleep (Thursday would be one of those opportune days to call out of work - tell them the you're having manic depressive episodes and you think its because of the election, then sleep all day.


Thursday, November 6th

Remember being 15 and thinking you were the coolest shit in the world cuz you knew the words to peaches? yeah, relive your golden adolescence tonight at the House of Blues with the freaking Presidents of the United States of America and appropriately celebrate the conclusion of the most fucked up election ever (regardless of who wins)

tickets will run you $18.50 - $53.00 and doors are at 7:00pm. All Ages welcome, check the website for info on where to buy tickets.

Friday, November 7th
Now, all that sleeping and not driving yourself to work pays off. Because Friday, you should drive your happy ass over to my hometown to hang out with the I Heart Comix crew at the Vagabond. Franki will once again roll through town with Toxie and Clayton in tow pretty much guaranteeing a night of debauchery for the rest of us.

Remember last time they were around? You do, vaguely. Maybe you shouldn't get so trashed at parties. Or maybe you should since it makes for entertainment for the rest of us.

See past Franki and Toxie galleries Here, Here and Here.

Saturday, November 8th

I strongly advise you sleep till at least 3 or 4 pm, eat a good nutritious meal (La Caretta and Taco bell are NOT considered nutritious) like around 5:50 and then get ready to head to Heathrow at 10 for MotherFucking Crookers.

Hosted by Bronques (yeah, that last night's party dude) and featuring our very own Pauly Crush, its bound to be a freaking fiasco, since a good chunk of O-town seems to be making the trip. Look for a write-up from Smile Contributor Vegas coming soon!

As always, KColl and I will be out and about, and for updates, interviews and whatever the hell else i feel like posting, you can always go check Smile For Camera! And come back later for updates on more Orlando Events from Becky, who I'm sure will give you passwords and info on all the fun nights for you local minded individuals.

So for now, let us share a moment of silent reflection, while we prepare ourselves for a fun fun intensive week!

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