Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Prohibition Is Over! Now, Let's Drink!

December 5th is a big day in the history of drinking. Remember that time, back in the 20’s, when alcohol was illegal? Me neither. But today you can thank Utah for being the 36th state to ratify the 21st Amendment, which canceled out that lousy 18th Amendment for those of you playing along at home. So this weekend, why not raise a glass to Utah -- something I doubt you will ever do again -- to celebrate this glorious date in history. Then get wasted in honor of it. Here are some options to help you out.

Tonight, kick off your drinking binge at Heritage Square with the Orlando Holiday Brew Fest. For the (mere) $25 admission fee, they promise food, entertainment and (obviously) lots and lots of beer.



The boys of Get Mental are back tonight at Sky60 after a month-long hiatus. Not sure if this weekly party is going to continue in the future, but they promise madness and mayhem tonight. The weather will be in the 50s, which is not cold, people. So don’t complain, throw on an extra layer and enjoy the un-humid, non-sticky evening outdoors. Password for free admission: Fuck Rent, Let’s Party.



First Friday means one thing at the Peacock Room - Mexican wrestlers. The holiday edition of Club Queso features the usual cast of characters: Q-Burns, Atnarko and Sleazy McQueen. Free CD to the first 50 people.



Also tonight, Taste will be hosting a benefit party for Syd Zed. I don’t know the guy personally, but he got injured on the job, was misdiagnosed, and is now dealing with all kinds of workers comp hell on top of his injuries. If you click the info website, you can see pretty horrific photos of his foot or just read more about how he is being fucked over by the man. Support him tonight, along with local bands Franchise, The Mondellos, Jim O'Rourke, Hot Hands, The Saved 666 and DJs Cub and Dirty Sneakers.



Or, if you just feel like catching a movie, the Enzian will be presenting Gremlins as part of Popcorn Flicks at Winter Park Central Park at 7PM.



On to Saturday! You may have heard about the party I am throwing, but just in case... join Miss Becky (that's me!), Nigel and Cub for The Non-Denominational Holiday Funfest at the Peacock Room. God, I love The Simpsons.



A little band called The Misfits are also performing at Firestone on Saturday night. I’m guessing if you want to go see them, you probably wouldn’t come to my party anyway. And, since I can never resist a Jem and the Holograms reference, “We are The Misfits. Our songs are better. We are The Misfits, The Misfits, and we’re gonna get her!”



Have a lovely weekend and don’t forget to get drunk -- after all, it’s your constitutional right as an American. Thank you, Utah!