Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Return of the Mack + WTF, Crooked Bayou is Closing?!?!?!

What’s up, kids? Yeah, it’s been a minute, but to quote the lyrical stylings of a Mr. Cool J, “Don’t call it a comeback, we’ve been here for years.”

What’s new with me, you may be wondering? Well, I’ve been lucky enough to travel around the world with my jobby-job (including living in Finland for the last three months) so I’ve been a busy bee. I never did forget my beloved Don’t Sleep Orlando, though, especially every time I had to pay for the domain name.

So, long story short, we’re back. I’ve found a new partner in crime to help me update these lovely event listings, so you can expect much from us in 2011. Announcements and introductions coming soon and we hope to have a comprehensive New Year’s Eve post up early next week, so stay tuned.

But all this is not why I’m here. It is with a heavy heart that I bring news of a well-loved, downtown Orlando bar’s closing. Known for the iconic fried pickles, tater tots, po boys, 25 cent wing nights, and Orlando’s best bartender, Dan the Man, Crooked Bayou, one of our favorite spots, has been sold.

Sad face. :(

In its place, a new BBQ joint will be moving in, and word on the street is they want to keep the status quo – same staff, same DJs, same venue. Supposedly only the menu will be different, but with new ownership, who knows what will happen.

In the meantime, let’s drown our sorrows with one last hurrah this Thursday night. The annual holiday party put on by Hoochie Productions (always a major bash in itself) is being rebranded as the Official Crooked Bayou Closing party. (It pains me to even type that. I still don’t want to believe it’s true!) I can’t think of a better party to thank Crooked for their last 15 years of service to Orlando. Get more info at Hoochie Productions’ website or the Facebook invite. The full menu goes until midnight, so have a Danimal and a Grand Slam shot for old times sake.


We’re looking forward to whatever future ventures the Bayou staff is involved in. There are rumors of a sandwich bar opening soon in the Milk District. Stay tuned.

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