Kool's Gang vs. DIZ vs. Balls to the Wall

For most Orlando-ites, the versus factor this weekend won't mean a damn thing. But if your musical taste is as eclectic as mine (read: ADD... ooooh, shiny!), then the options should have you pretty stoked. The decision basically comes down to this -- do you prefer:

A) Disco + beads, + theme parks
B) Chicago-flavored house music + tater tots + hallways(?)
C) Heavy metal + Aquanet hairspray + leather

Answers:

A) As I have mentioned before, sometimes it's necessary to visit the theme parks to see awesome performers 20 years past their prime. If funk/soul/disco is your forte and you don't mind rubbing elbows with tourists or shelling out $40 - 50, then check out Kool and the Gang at Universal Studios Mardi Gras. It's unclear if the band will break out such gems as Open Sesame or Be My Lady, but you can bet a million dollars you'll be singing Celebration and Ladies Night with middle-aged drunk tourists wearing Bermuda shorts and Mardi Gras beads. If I wasn't flat-ass broke, I would sooooo be there.  Thankfully, Earth, Wind and Fire is coming in April!

Here's another one they won't play -- Steppin' Out -- check the video for one of my favorite songs ever.

B) If you prefer the thumping beats of discofied house music, Chicago's very own Diz will be DJing at Crooked Bayou with Latenight Society and Bill Gold. When I was unhealthily obsessed with Chicago house music, Diz was one of my idols -- right up there with Derrick Carter and DJ Heather. He's definitely one of the city's finest, and while his counterpart Iz (also known as Joshua) has played in Orlando numerous times, this will be Diz's first.

Sadly, it's rumored this party will be held in the hallway between Crooked and Suite B, rather than inside the bar itself. Why the sudden change of venue? Because Orlando's (sucky) sweetheart, Baby Anne, decided she wanted to play at Bayou instead. If I was bringing Diz, I would be PISSED. Hopefully this won't ruin it for the promoters.

Anyway, here is a video of Diz dropping a dope remix of Prince.

C) If options A or B didn't sound appealing, then C must be what you're looking for: a balls to the wall, 80's hair metal party entitled "Turbo Love Machine" at the Peacock Room -- hosted by Andrew Spear and Angry Asian. Anyone who witnessed Spear's Prince tribute party or any of his infamous art shows, knows they are in for a treat (not to mention the flyer is totally awesome!!!). Break out the Aquanet, leather, leopard prints, fishnets and black eyeliner, it's time for a fucking metal party.

To get in the proper mood , here is a 10-minute (plus) video of Eddie Van Halen doing a guitar solo. \m/