Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Another Beer Fest + Space Ace + Punk Rock

What could be better than standing in a parking lot on this hot Saturday afternoon? Wait, there's beer involved? Count me in! The The Great Orlando Beer Festival is being held today from 2 - 7 PM in the parking lot behind Firestone (42. West Concord St.)

All the KISS fanatics will be flocking to the House of Blues tonight to see the makeup-less Ace Frehley's solo performance. And although I doubt sparks will be shooting from his guitar, he's probably still a badass (his makeup is my favorite!) and the people-watching will be prime.

Punk rock kids should head over to Taste, where the Hate Bombs will be playing. Opening for them are The Dyin' Days, who wrote this awesome description of their band:

In the room where Grandma Santina kept the pictures of her dead children, there were four photos enclosed in a single frame. These were the photos of The Dyin' Days, Grandma's only son born with four heads.

Word. Click the flyer for info.

Oh, and it's flyers like this that make people think Orlando is whack. Mariah Carey's "offical" DJ??? Fuck off.

No comments: