Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Crooked Bayou vs. Wall Street

Thanks to the Orlando Sentinel's Kelly Fitzpatrick writing about St. Patrick's Day party on Saturday in her column today (woohoo!!!), there seems to be a bit of a turf war due to the name we made up ("We Hate Wall Street St. Patrick's Day Party" to be exact). Crooked Bayou, the quaint, friendly neighborhood bar we all know and love (aka the David of the story) VS. the big, mean, corporate conglomerate of bars known as Wall Street (aka the grumpy ol' Goliath of the tale).

I think the whole thing is completely hilarious and astounding at the same time. For one, we haven't printed out a single flyer. Nope, we decided to be as low budget as possible, using only our offline and online networking skills. Second, the party's title (which was vodka-induced, I'm sure) is not even printed on the web-only flyer. See?



Just crazy cat lady references and a leprechaun doing a wheelie. Word. The only place you will find the Wall Street-hater name is on a Myspace event invitation with a less-than-overwhelming response. I mean, no one reads those things anyway, do they?

So how did this controversy spread so quickly? How did the Sentinel even find out about it? More importantly, why are the big guns at Wall Street so upset? They will still draw thousands of overly drunk college kids and shiny shirt guys who are into Staind or Slightly Stoopid or whatever band, just like they do every year. There will be green beer and beads and boobs and fights and puke.

And the outnumbered people in Orlando who are not into all of the above will come to Crooked Bayou and have an awesome time with us :)

The End.

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