Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Andy!!! You Goonie!!!



Tonight Winter Park's Central Park is showing one of the most influential 80's movies of all time: The Goonies. Obsession does not even begin to describe how I felt about this movie when I was kid. Who would have known an awesomely bad movie exploiting every child's treasure-hunting fantasy could coin a term like "Truffle Shuffle?" Ah the memories: Chester Copperpot, One-Eyed Willie (phallic symbol much?), The Fratellis and, of course, Mr. "Hey You Guys" himself, Sloth. Baby Ruths will never be the same.

The show is free and starts at 8PM. And, the best part about movies in the park is that you can bring your own wine (you're probably supposed to keep that on the low, of course and don't forget a wine opener. I learned the hard way). You'll need a few bottles too -- Goonies isn't as fantastic as it was when you were ten.

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