Dear recent Orlando transplant:

Ok, so you just moved to Orlando from New York / Philly / Chicago / San Francisco / et al. You feel lost, uprooted, misplaced -- you're starting to think Orlando might suck. Eager to find some nightlife in this town, you go to Lattitudes on Church Street, Slingapour's on Wall Street and that mega-club on Orange Avenue owned by one of those Backstreet Boys (Orlando's finest celebrities). Maybe you even think International Drive, Citywalk or Downtown Disney is where everyone hangs out in this town. Now you really think Orlando sucks.

Well, you're wrong. There is more to this city than theme park "nightlife" and crappy clubs with guys wearing shiny shirts, but you have to know where to look. Instead of complaining about how lame Orlando is compared to your city of origin, why not get out there and support your new scene -- it's a lot better than you think! After all, you moved here for a reason, right? (I'm guessing to escape the cold weather.) So you can do one of two things: either 1) move back to the city you think is sooooo much more awesome or 2) quit bitchin', check the events below and DON'T SLEEP on the shit that is happening!

Friday, August 29, 2008

The King's Bday + Organic Oil Wrestling + Pumpkin Beer + Designer Drugs



Today is a very important day in the world of pop culture because the king himself has turned 50. Although I prefer to remember him in his pre-surgery heyday of late 20's to early 30's, the day should still be given its due credit. In celebration of his birthday, and another regular club patron (also conveniently named Mike), the password for Get Mental this evening is Hey, Mikey! He Likes It. I'm hoping last week's effects of Fay haven't turned Sky60 into a swimming pool but I guess we’ll have to see.

Michael Jackson - Rock With You (Daft Punk White Label Mix).mp3



Saturday night is the best hybrid of sexual exploitation and the ever-popular "going green" trend I have ever witnessed: hot chicks wrestling in organic oil. Ummm... yeah. At least it's for a good cause. The event starts at 9PM at the Orlando Brewing Company and is hosted by the ladies of The Girls Gone Green Radio Show. Guys, there's a price to pay for hot chick organic oil wrestling, of course: you'll have to fork over $10 in advance or $15 day of. Ladies wanting to support Mother Earth can also register to wrestle by emailing your info and photo (duh, no fatties!) to info@thegirlsgonegreen.com.



On Sunday, kiss the summer goodbye and say hello to autumn with your first taste of Shipyard Pumpkinhead Ale. Although the weather will still be a million degrees and the leaves won't change, Crooked Bayou is hosting a Pumpkinhead Release Party at 9PM. Local bands Bughead, Mumpsy and
The Little Debbies will be on hand, along with DJ Tard, and every Pumpkinhead you buy will enter you for prize giveaways. The five bucks you pay at the door will also get you one free beer -- pretty much an even trade, if you ask me. $3 drafts and PumpkinBomb specials all night. Mmmmmmmmmm.... PumpkinBombs.... mmmmmmm.....



Finish up your weekend proper by getting wasted Monday night at Crush, where special guests will be the heavily-hyped electro outfit, Designer Drugs. Sign up early for the guestlist because I wouldn't doubt they'll be hitting capacity. Shit will be especially bananas, Labor Day-style, so you'll probably want to blow off work on Tuesday.

Flou - Les Gens Pour Ce Qu'ils Sont (Designer Drugs Remix).mp3



Have an awesome day of Labor!!!
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